Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
