I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Randomize
