I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Randomize
