Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
