: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
