bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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