And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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