I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
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