Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize