3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
he puts the penis in happiness.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
