I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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