i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
you guys were way drunker than both of me
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
