We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
