do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
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