He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
