WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
