no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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