Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
