You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
