I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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