I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
