dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
