I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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