My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
May the power of my ass compel you!!
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Randomize
