I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
