Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize