But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize