i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
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