If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
you inspire me to be a worse person
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
