Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
