are you still at the devil's house?
..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Randomize
