if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
