he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize