dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
