vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
