you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize