my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
