Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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