ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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