I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
