It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
