Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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