ugly people sure do ruin things
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Randomize
