I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
