let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
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