The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
