ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
