I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Randomize
