a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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