the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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