mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
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