If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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