Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Randomize
