My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
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