Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Watching her eat just hurts me
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
