She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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