she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
