i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
