I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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