we have officially lost it.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
