All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize