he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
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