The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
