So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
