What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
