My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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