I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
