you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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